Only high speed employees allowed!

Aiden Starling

Updated Tuesday, April 23, 2024 at 12:00 AM CDT

Noticed an error or an aspect of this article that requires correction? Please provide the article link and reach out to us. We appreciate your feedback and will address the issue promptly.

View source: Reddit

Top Comments from Reddit

Hot_Cockroach_7625

As someone who works in an open concept office setting, I would KILL for a cubicle like this. Sweet, sweet privacy.

TheoremaEgregium

There'll be lots of exciting urgent tickets on the scrum board though.

astathos16

basically cube

imahugemoron

This is just code for “we’re going to make you do the work of like 5 people, everyone is overworked and everytime someone quits, we give their responsibilities to everyone else and rarely hire anyone to fill vacant positions.”

Sephrick

Translation: Your manager will ask you to do things you've never done before and expect you to complete it within an hour with zero training.

yParticle

𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢. 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚋𝚒𝚐 𝚋𝚞𝚒𝚕𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 # 𝟺𝟸𝟽. 𝙴𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 # 𝟺𝟸𝟽’𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎: 𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚖 𝟺𝟸𝟽 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚔𝚎𝚢𝚋𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍. 𝙾𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔, 𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑, 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚜𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚎 𝟺𝟸𝟽 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚗, 𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚓𝚘𝚋. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚢. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚕𝚒𝚊𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢, 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚝. 𝙷𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚘𝚗𝚎, 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚘𝚛 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠. 𝙽𝚘 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚞𝚙 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚒. 𝙽𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚍, 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. 𝚂𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝚂𝚑𝚘𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚍, 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚣𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚒𝚍, 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚞𝚗𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚊𝚜 𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚜, 𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚎.

Roook36

The fastest I saw anyone move at my old cubicle job was when an email went out saying there was cake in the breakroom

SlowTurtle3

If you could go ahead and get me those TPS reports that would be great.

NedStark79

“Fast paced unpredictable high energy environment” is a cop out for companies that have poor leadership, poor communication and poor organization. If you see that in a job posting, it should be a red flag.

ElGuano

Are you Thomas Andersen?