Adopting Older Children: Unique Challenges and Unwavering Commitment

Zoey Waverider

Updated Tuesday, August 13, 2024 at 12:00 AM CDT

Adopting older children has always been a topic of intense debate, often met with a mix of admiration and skepticism. The conversation captured in a recent social media image brilliantly encapsulates the diverse perspectives on this matter. The dialogue features users kintatsujo, plenoptic07, and indigo-night-wisp, each sharing their thoughts on the complexities and rewards of adopting teenagers.

User kintatsujo begins by expressing a personal preference for adopting older children over pregnancy. Their declaration, "Me: I don’t know if I ever want to be pregnant, I’d rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older," sets the stage for a meaningful discussion. The response from an unnamed participant, "Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES," highlights a common concern.

The conversation takes a thought-provoking turn when kintatsujo replies with, "Me: We are discussing human beings not digital pets." This statement emphasizes the importance of recognizing the individuality and humanity of older adoptees.

User plenoptic07 chimes in, underscoring the universal nature of parenting challenges: "Literally every child ever born and/or parented presents unique challenges. It's like people are unique individuals.....or something............." This comment serves as a reminder that parenting, whether through adoption or biological means, is inherently challenging and rewarding.

Returning to the dialogue, kintatsujo adds, "An amazing and revolutionary concept," humorously acknowledging the obvious but often overlooked truth that every child is unique.

User indigo-night-wisp passionately defends the decision to adopt teenagers: "When people ask me, 'Why do you want to adopt teenagers?' I always answer, 'Because you asked like that.'" Their commitment is evident when they state, "If I become a foster mom to a 17-year-old kid and I get the privilege of the option to adopt them? You better believe I am legally making that kid mine."

Addressing common objections, indigo-night-wisp counters, "There's no aging out of family, Marvin," and asserts the necessity of stepping up to the responsibilities of parenting, "Then I guess I'll have to step up and do some fruxking parenting, Stanley."

The conversation concludes with a powerful reminder: "All. Children. Are. Problem. Children. If you're not prepared to deal with the fact that at some point, any child ever, whether you birthed them yourself or adopted them at any age, could become a problem?"

This image and its accompanying dialogue remind us that adopting older children, while presenting unique challenges, also offers unparalleled opportunities for love and growth. The determination and resilience shown by these prospective adoptive parents are nothing short of inspiring. Through their words, they highlight the importance of viewing older adoptees not as problems to be solved but as individuals deserving of family, support, and unconditional love.

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View source: Imgur

Top Comments from Imgur

mutingisforcowardsandsycophants

50% of foster kids end up homeless at 18. More of this mindset please.

VosperOfAntarctica

Why adopt at that age if they're about to age ou... THAT'S EXACTLY WHY!!! This way they'll still have a home in five months

darthstormer

"But the government stops sending checks when they turn 18"..............."are you only doing this for the money?!?!"

brickius

Kids are hard work. Some kids are more hard work than others. Foster kids are usually going to be at the harder end of the scale and then some. Some people want the kid but not that much hard work. Like, the difference between being handed a project that you do from the ground up VS a project that you're given that was already 50% done by some complete moron who had absolutely no f***in clue what they were doing

Vallete

Was talking with my husband about this sort of, due to complications and a special needs (bio) child that will probably always be with us, we decided not to have a third child, even though we both wanted one. We are talking about fostering a teen/adult special needs person when our bio kids are adults. I've heard that special needs have an extra hard time getting placed, and once we have everything set up for our special needs kiddo and our typical developing kid doesn't need us, what's one more

paintingagency

OK... reality check here. ALL children are "problem children". But if you adopted my child, who has ADHD and a diagnosis similar to ODD... you'd really have your hands full compared to average child their age. A LOT of older kids up for adoption have multiple diagnoses and/or trauma. They need parents who are both willing, and have the material and emotional resources, to be good parents to them. They're people and they deserve that.

JT1984

I agree with this concept. However, my friend had a child naturally, but due to medical conditions cannot have any more. She wanted to foster an older child, and did, but he came with issues so complex he was a threat to her first child. So it didn't work out. Sometimes there are valid reasons you can't foster/adopt an older child.

LateNightBunnyParty

As an ACTUAL mom who has adopted an ACTUAL 17 year old, believe me when I say "uniquely challenging" in this case often means "the hardest f***ing thing you've ever done, even compared to raising biological children, and an underestimated test of your family's strength and relationships to one another." Everyone wants to sound all noble with pithy sayings, but living the real thing is a whole other matter that you can't "fake daydream scenario" your way into understanding.

Littledirtybirdyfeet

Yes, kids can become a problem at any time, but there is a difference between adopting a kid with ODD vs. birthing a son with ADHD and working to support him since birth, so he never develops ODD. I would not adopt a kid with behavioral issues for the same reason I got my tubes removed. Any of my children will likely be on the spectrum, and I can't do more high needs children. I don't have the bandwidth.

ChoovaMonster

Hundred percent agree with this, but the trauma that some foster kids go through will need to be parented for life. Doesn't mean they are worse or not worth it, but being aware of how much it affects them is always important. My mom has had the same foster kid in court for commiting arson for 7 years. He's an adult now and the adoptive parents support him as much as possible with therapy, medication, making sure he doesn't live alone etc. but the dude just can't stop lighting things on fire.