welp. wish I'd known this earlier

Jaxon Wildwood

Updated Wednesday, June 28, 2023 at 12:03 AM CDT

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View source: Imgur

Top Comments from Imgur

mannabananarama

This is useful. I also like: “Am I listening or problem solving?”

Calamarre

yep.... always useful to learn and relearn that :)

Illithidbane

Biggest lesson for me to unlearn is that people do NOT want you to relate their pain to something in your life. I perceived it as empathy, showing that I understood because I have experienced similar. This just makes me look narcissistic like everything has to be about me. I am learning to just shut up and sympathize.

SarcasticComment

"but I don't even need an appology" following "I'm upset about something in our relationship" isn't as unloaded a conversation starter as she is pretending it to be

Verbodentoegang

She’s studying

GaryFreakingOak

This was fun. Thanks

reinharder

Almost perfect but 'i don't even need an apology' still has implications that it's the other person's fault.

Iputth***stinb******ity

I learned about non aggressive communication. Basically you hardly ever use "you (...)", but rather "we (...)". It's much less confrontational. Worth checking out, and it works in a lot of confrontations. Eg police: "we need to go to the station" vs "you need to go to the station". The cop will be going with you to the station after all. Kids: "So the vase is broken, how can we fix this" vs "You broke the vase, how will you fix this".

Somes***head241

If only people communicated this in actuality.

PetrK79

The problem is, that since I love you, I will try to do something about the problem you have. But it never ends. Each time I solve something, new issues appear immediately. So I become numb to your problems and "just" listen. Which is not enough either, and you just become more and more upset with a man that does not care about what you have to deal with.