Jungle Cruise Tour Guide Hilariously Scares Away Tourists with Relationship Woes

A recent Reddit video titled "I'm gonna scare them away" has garnered significant attention, showcasing a Jungle Cruise tour guide's unique approach to engaging with passengers. In the video, the guide humorously declares, "Don't worry, I'm going to scare them away the same way I scared away my last relationship. I love you! Let's get married! I'm never going to hear from them ever again."

The video's comments section reveals a treasure trove of similar amusing experiences from past Jungle Cruise rides. One user reminisces about a tour in the 1980s, where the guide greeted them with, "Hello and welcome to Disneyland, a magical world of wonder for you, a minimum wage nightmare for me." This humorous style continued throughout the ride and left a lasting impression, with the user still chuckling about it nearly forty years later.

Another commenter shared their experience as a Captain in 1999, where they got in trouble for going off script at the exit dock by saying, "In the immortal words of the Late Bob Marley ... Get up stand up... step out to your right." Similarly, a user recounted their friend's off-script antics, pointing out various animals and joking, "And if you'll look really close behind those bushes, folks, you'll see one of the rarest animals in the jungle - my supervisor!"

Skipper Dan, a current tour guide on the Jungle Cruise ride, contributes to the thread, joining the ranks of those who have delighted passengers with off-the-cuff humor. Another user recalls a 1995 trip to Florida, where a guide's constant off-script quips had their mother laughing audibly throughout the tour. The guide graciously accepted their compliments, saying, "that made my day."

One humorous moment involved a guide directing passengers' attention to a literal rock, quipping, "Ladies and gentlemen, now on to the moment you have all been waiting for. Look to your right and you’ll be able to see the star attraction of the tour, THE ROCK!!!" This joke coincided with the release of the movie "The Rock," adding an extra layer of humor.

A user recounted a similar experience on the Maligne Lake cruise in Jasper National Park, where their guide pointed out "Wild Canadians in their natural habitat," referring to a couple of canoeists. While some might think these jokes are overused, they still manage to elicit chuckles from tourists.

The comments also highlight the evolution of the Jungle Cruise ride. One user noted that in the 1980s, guides would shoot guns with blanks to scare off hippos, a practice that was replaced around 2001 with the current style of humor.

For many, the Jungle Cruise ride holds nostalgic value. A user shared their unforgettable grad night experience at Disneyland, where the guide humorously corrected a passenger who identified an animatronic cobra, saying, "No, it’s plastic. Stay in school!" Another commenter compared the Jungle Cruise to the Jaws ride at Universal, recalling the enthusiastic responses from Japanese passengers despite the language barrier.

The video and its accompanying comments underscore the importance of humor in creating memorable experiences on theme park rides. Tour guides like the one featured in the Reddit video, with their witty remarks and off-script jokes, continue to bring joy and laughter to countless visitors.

For those searching for a laugh and a trip down memory lane, the "I'm gonna scare them away" video is a must-watch, capturing the essence of what makes the Jungle Cruise ride a beloved attraction at Disneyland.