Overcoming Anxiety: Embracing Reality and Letting Go of Expectations

Jaxon Wildwood

Updated Friday, December 8, 2023 at 8:02 AM CDT

Overcoming Anxiety: Embracing Reality and Letting Go of Expectations

Accepting the Reality of Your Mother's Parenting

Many individuals struggle with the expectation of having a mother who fulfills their needs and desires. However, it is important to recognize that your mom may never be the parent you want or need. Instead of being constantly disappointed and angry, it is essential to accept this reality and adjust your expectations accordingly.

It is common for people who are addicts to become stuck in the time when their addiction began. Their focus becomes solely on their addiction, leaving little room for personal growth and development. This insight helps us understand why some individuals may not be able to provide the support and care we desire from them as parents.

Sometimes, we resist taking medication because we fear becoming dependent on drugs to feel okay. However, this fear is ironic, as we may already be relying on substances for self-medication. It is essential to recognize this contradiction and seek appropriate help and support.

When managing your mother's anxiety becomes overwhelming, it is crucial to ask yourself, "Is it your anxiety, or hers?" Prioritizing your own well-being over managing your mother's fears can be liberating and allow you to focus on your own growth and happiness.

If your mother was an absentee mother, it is unlikely that she will be anything other than an absentee grandmother to your child. Lowering your expectations and accepting this reality can help you navigate your relationship with your mother more effectively.

Embracing the Reality of Being "Not Special"

In a society that often promotes the idea of individual exceptionalism, it is important to confront the anxiety of being judged by others. The truth is, you are not special. This blunt statement may initially seem harsh, but it can be liberating to let go of self-consciousness and the fear of constant judgment.

Therapy can be a transformative experience. By establishing boundaries and opting out of managing your mother's fears and expectations, you can reclaim your independence and prioritize your own needs.

Sometimes, it takes an act of courage to assert your independence. Going on a business trip without informing your mother can be a powerful step towards establishing boundaries and embracing your autonomy.

Therapy can help you gain clarity and perspective. Through therapy, you may realize that your mother's absence in your life is likely to extend to your child's relationship with their grandmother. Accepting this reality can free you from the burden of unrealistic expectations.

Anxiety often distorts our perception of how others view us. Therapy can challenge this distorted thinking and help us recognize that most people we encounter in our daily lives do not pay excessive attention to us. This realization can significantly reduce anxiety in social situations.

Overcoming anxiety is a journey. By internalizing the message that you are not the constant focus of others' judgment, you can gain the confidence to pursue your goals, engage with the world around you, and live a more fulfilling life.

accepting the reality of your mother's parenting and embracing the truth that you are not special can be transformative experiences. Therapy can play a vital role in helping you navigate these challenges, establish boundaries, and overcome anxiety. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and embracing reality, you can find freedom, happiness, and a sense of self-worth.

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