Divine Disapproval: The Shocking Truth Behind Zeus' One-Star Ratings

Kaylee Everhart

Updated Tuesday, November 21, 2023 at 12:00 AM CDT

In a bold twist on modern review culture, a new trend has emerged: rating ancient deities as if they were businesses on Yelp. The king of the gods himself, Zeus, has not been spared from this scrutiny, and the results are as thunderous as his mythological reputation. Despite traditionally being hailed as 'kingly,' 'regal,' and 'powerful,' recent discussions have unearthed a storm of negative feedback, with many citing his notorious mythological escapades as reasons for a dismal ★☆☆☆☆ rating.

The conversation around this divine rating system has sparked a mix of humor and serious reflection. Some users have expressed eagerness to delve into the one-star reviews, hinting at a desire to uncover the less savory aspects of Zeus' mythos, which include numerous tales of deception and misconduct. This contemporary lens on ancient myths has led to a reevaluation of the characters and stories that have been passed down through the ages.

Amidst the critiques, there's a lighter side to the divine ratings game. In contrast to Zeus, an imaginary deity dubbed 'Jeff the God of Biscuits' has seemingly won the hearts of many, with comments celebrating his universally acclaimed contributions to snack time. This fictional character, representing the epitome of benign and trivial powers, has garnered 'billions of thumbs up,' showcasing the internet community's penchant for humor and sarcasm.

The conversation also takes a turn into the fantastical with mentions of 'fuckable monsters,' a nod to the bizarre and often risqué creatures found within mythology. This offbeat humor underscores the enduring fascination with mythological beings and their complex narratives.

As the thread weaves through various topics, references to other internet culture phenomena such as the Nowhere King, a character from a popular animated series, and @Stellaloga, an apparent inside joke within the community, add layers of intrigue and connectivity among those engaged in the discussion.

In conclusion, the concept of reviewing the gods, particularly Zeus, has become an unexpected mirror reflecting modern sensibilities onto ancient tales. The resulting discourse is a tapestry of critique, humor, and nostalgia, revealing a collective desire to reexamine the stories that have shaped civilizations while indulging in the playful banter that thrives in the digital age. Whether it's a one-star review for the king of the gods or a rallying cry for the God of Biscuits, the conversation is a testament to the enduring power of myth and the unifying force of shared narratives in the online world.

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View source: Imgur

Top Comments from Imgur


"Well, the positive reviews for this one say he's 'kingly' 'regal' and 'powerful,' but the negative reviews are all about rape..." - Rating for Zeus: ★☆☆☆☆


Mind if I check out the 1 star reviews first?


I unironically think this could be a fantastic app.


Uh, I am only passing through to get to my AirBnB.


3k? Rookie numbers. You gotta pump those numbers up!




Fuckable monsters


The skull kinda reminds me of @Stellaloga


Dreamless sleep, follows the Nowhere King When his kingdom comes, darkness is nigh


Good news: Jeff the God of Biscuits ALWAYS gets great reviews! Billions of thumbs up!!

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